Fear comes before a rise.

Fear is a tricky emotion; it creeps up on you when you least expect, and if you let it, it will spread like a cancer; rigorously around your body, eating you up bit by bit until you are nothing but yams; crippled.

I remember the first time I learnt about the #EndSars protest; my first emotion was fear. Fear for the people going out to protest, fear for myself because I knew I also had to.

Why I had to? I was tired of the fear. See I have grown up in Nigeria learning fear; Fear that I’d disappoint my parents in school; Fear that I wouldn’t be good enough for a man; Fear that if I didn’t give my body I wouldn’t pass that test or exam or get that job; Fear that no matter how much I worked I’d still not be promoted or given a raise: Fear that I won’t pass that visa interview just because I am Nigerian.

Nigerians are raised in fear because that was all our parents knew. The Government of Nigeria has ruled its populace for about 60 years with fear albeit it is a democratic country.

So, when this fear of protesting numbed me at the early stages, the only thing that got me out was the tiredness from living in fear and of course a gentle nudge from Charm; a university friend. I started up on twitter; retweeting and liking to keep the hashtag trending and then I felt like I needed to go out there too.

The first time I made an attempt was on Sunday, 11th of October. I was going to walk from my place, Oniru, to the Lekki Toll Gate and I started to walk but the sun was too harsh and the more I realized I was walking alone to a protest, the more doubtful of myself I got and so I went back home. I knew I was just scared and so I made a plan, I would call my friend; Grace. She was most likely to go for things like this. She is what I like to call a proactive activist. I did call her and I was right. She had been there and would be going back in a few minutes and so we made arrangement to go together.

Getting there I got a mix of emotions. The number of people out made me happy; the kind of happy that could make one tear up. That first day at the protest ground was all it took for me to overcome my fear. I saw people that must have been scared just like me but braved it and just like everything I have read or heard on fear, that’s all it took to overcome fear; doing regardless. The guy in a video who stood up to a man in uniform regardless of the threat to his life was not fearless. He just stood his ground regardless of his fear.

The numbers of protesters have increased since then because just as fear is contagious, courage also is and I can’t wait to see what we will do with this country now that we are learning to handle and overcome fear collectively. So, anytime you feel fear, know that you are about to do something great if you do regardless.